Today’s topic begins with children who are unhappy at school, but in the end it develops into a guide on how best to deal with hatred.

Spirit: Today it is about unhappy children in school. They have too heavy satchels.

I see a boy struggling with a huge satchel on his back. Should it really be about schoolbags today…? Only in the course of the conversation do I realize that this picture is only a symbol.

Spirit: Children who are unhappy at school are bullied and cannot defend themselves because they have not learned to do so. Some children are shy and laughed at.

I now see the boy who wants to play football with the other boys, but because he does not master it as well as the others, he is laughed at and no longer plays along. He looks as if he would like to go home.

Spirit: He can’t just go home like that and there’s nobody at school he can escape to.

Me: But in many schools there are social pedagogues for such cases.

Spirit: These children don’t go there because they think that their problem is too small, just as they think that they themselves are worth nothing. They suffer silently. If they are lucky, there is a child like them. Then they get together. If they have intelligence, they can develop sophisticated revenge plans. These can be very cruel, depending on how mean the other children are. It doesn’t need much as a trigger. A trifle can cause destructive forces to break out.

Me: And then someone runs amok or something.

Spirit: Among other things. The guilt is blamed on the child. But the group has the responsibility. All children have to learn to respect each other and to involve others, to bring them into the game. Everyone bears the responsibility for everyone. Everyone belongs to it. It is everybody’s business. If someone can’t play football well, you teach them instead of laughing at them. And if it has unchangeable physical reasons, you look for its strengths in other areas and give it recognition for these. When someone is sick, you visit them.

Me: That’s nothing new now. But how do you implement it?

Spirit: Parents already have to treat their children as described. They should not exclude them and acknowledge their strengths. Parents should treat their environment in the same way: friends, neighbours, etc.

Me: But that’s often not the reality …

Spirit: I know. That is why I am telling you this.

Me: But how do you influence adults?

Spirit: Through the media. The media are the teachers of adults without many knowing or noticing.

Me: And what should that look like in concrete terms? They are already doing that, aren’t they?

Spirit: Maybe in the children’s channel, but not in political topics. Less in feature films and cinema films. You have to do something about it. Every hatred in the media is a seed. A few measures are not enough, you have to do more.

Me: What else?

Spirit: Everyone starts with himself. Find your seed of hate that you scatter. Talk about it and think about what you can do about it. Admit it. Every person has one. Admit it, name it and concern yourself with how you dissolve it. Nobody is perfect. If you admit it, the others can also admit and transform theirs. Most hatred is hidden, often in the subconscious. Expose it. Show the children that you also have hate in you and are ready to give it up. So you can be a role model. You don’t have to be embarrassed. It is human. Admitting it and working on it is humane. It raises you to the next level. Try it out!

I think: Hate, which smoulders unnoticed in you, harms you yourself.

Me: And what do I do when I realize what I hate?

Spirit: Look at it. Look at it from all sides. Do you really need the hate? For what? Can you replace it with something else?

I think: For example, if you have hate because of injustice that has happened to you, you could replace hate with action that reduces injustice. But if that doesn’t work, I’ll get angry again, won’t I?

Spirit: If it doesn’t work, you can practice letting go. You can’t win against giants, let them go. Or go away yourself.

Me: How can the boy from the example deal with his hatred for the children who laughed at him?

Spirit: He sees that they laughed at him because they themselves have weaknesses, but does not take advantage of their weaknesses. He recognizes his own strengths and gives himself the recognition that others don’t give him. In this way he finds friends. Especially girls feel addressed. This also increases his esteem for the other boys in the end.

Me: I summarize: Hate is the attempt to expel others from the community, but it cannot succeed because we are all connected. By making ourselves aware of our hatred and dissolving it, we integrate people who were never separable from us anyway. This also reduces hatred in the entire human community. Hate is meaningless because it causes disharmony in ourselves and in the group, but does not solve the real problem. Hate is only the illusion to solve a problem with it.
But it seems to so many to be a simple solution. They don’t want to take a close look at their own hatred. What do you do with those who want to hate?

Spirit: Slowly. They don’t want to hate. They just don’t know how to do it differently. You can show them that. But not with counter-hatred. You can teach them how to solve problems.

Me: I’m just thinking of some AfD members. How can you teach someone like that to solve problems instead of hating them?

Spirit: With patience. With the knowledge that they have great inner fear, that they are looking for help. They are on a raft in a roaring ocean. But their outer facade shows something else. You can’t fall for that. They are in need of protection.

Me: Possibly, but a politician from the left will hardly approach an AfD politician with open arms so that he feels protected.

Spirit: Politics is a battlefield. There you can only start with yourself and dissolve your own hatred.

Me: I see working in a parliament as a real challenge.

Spirit: This is a good training ground. There’s a lot going on there when it comes to hate. There is a lot of anger and sometimes hatred. Anger can quickly turn into hatred.

Me: So this is something for advanced students.

Spirit: There you can learn and practice a lot of serenity. But I’ve actually said everything I wanted to say.

I thank him and say goodbye to him.

Translated with (free version)

Hate is the illusion of solving problems with it

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